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Comment by Weboga on March 17, 2013 at 7:42pm

an enugu man lay dying on his death bed  his wife had gone to call the priest when suddenly he smelt some great pounded yam and egusi soup .. he struggled out of bed thinking ah my dear wife has made me my last dish he staggered to the kitchen determined to grab one last taste of egusi soup as he was about to dip the pounded yam into the egusi soup . His wife shouted ! "Dont touch it That is for the Funeral "

Comment by webmadam noelene on December 12, 2012 at 7:45pm

I witnessed. 01-01-01. 
02-02-02
03-03-03
04-04-04
05-05-05
06-06-06
07-07-07
08-08-08
09-09-09
10-10-10

11-11-11
Now d most respected and highest one has come 12-12-12.... Wat do u fink its nt easy ....Glory to U LORD 

BUT COME TO THINK OF IT there will be nothing like 13/13/13 hahahahahah

Comment by webmadam noelene on December 4, 2012 at 8:30am

Kids on sunday. Chibuike and Chidera both brothers were rehearsing for the Nativity play for Christmas at school .. All of a sudden 9 year old Chidera walks up to the Teacher with all confidence.. "Excuse me maam i think there is a problem with the script ." The teacher who knew Chidera for his many questions said "and what exactly is wrong chidera ? " Chidera, "its says 3 Maggi wrong spelling h

uh ? " Teacher did not understand fully .. 7 year old Chibuike quips "you know the one that you lick that mummy puts in food ? ? " ... Teacher in fits of laughter "no no not maggi seasoning its magi ! for magician or wisemen ! "

Comment by webmadam noelene on November 21, 2012 at 10:45pm

A Prof of law stepped into a law class & threw an Orange at one of his students and said "Give it as a gift to any of your friends now".

The boy said to one of his friends "Tee, I give this orange to you as a gift".
The Prof gave him a stern look and said do it "Like a lawyer!".

Immediately, the boy straightened up, cleared his throat & began

"I Stanley Omerfield, adult, male of M16 Stapley. Drive, hereby with all intent & purposes willfully give unto you Messrs Theodore Billings of Creepton Street, this citrus with it's skin, seeds, segments, juice and supple innings that you may exercise actual & proprietary rights thereon, to hold unto same as a gift, a bequest, an endowment validly so transferred, given out, bequested, alienated, assigned.

That you may eat, lick, devour, suck, make juice out of, munch or grant, give out, devolve, alienate in your rightful capacity as d owner either in actual, virtual or constructive capacity of an agent or attorney as may be chosen by you.

That the said citrus may be treated in the aforementioned ways or other ways not so listed but not as a weapon to be thrown at persons or animals with malicious intent to hurt, inflict pain or serve as an incendiary action to incite unrest of any kind.

That the said citrus may be used in such beneficial capacity or simply be destroyed in such exercise of legal & equitable ownership as may be deemed fit by d beneficiary of this bequest"

Comment by Weboga on November 16, 2012 at 11:01am

So Akpors boards a Lagos - Abuja plane, walks straight to the business class section and sits there even though he has an economy class ticket. A flight attendant approaches him and says "Sir, this is a business class section and you have an economy class ticket so you shouldn't be here. Kindly get up so I can lead you to your seat in the economy class section" but Akpors bluntly refuses. Every attempt by the attendant to get Akpors to move proves abortive as he keeps shouting "Na lie! I like dis side! People no too plenty hia!! Na by force to move?? Abeg limme jare!!!" Finally, after some time, she whispers something into his ear and convinced with what he's been told, Akpors gets up and moves. Another passenger who overhears the conversation later asks the attendant, "How did you get him to move? What did you tell him?" To which she replies with a smile, "I told him that those in the business class section are not going to Abuja." Good morning y'all. Thank God it's Friday yeah!

Comment by Gbenga WebBirthday on November 14, 2012 at 4:45pm

A man inserted an advertisement in the classifieds "Wife Wanted".

The next day, he received hundreds of replies, all reading the same thing: "You can have mine."

Comment by Gbenga WebBirthday on November 14, 2012 at 4:35pm

A man went into a library and asked for a book on how to commit suicide.

The librarian said: "Fuck off, you won't bring it back."

Comment by Gbenga WebBirthday on November 14, 2012 at 3:02pm

It got crowded in heaven, so, for one day it was decided only to accept people who had really had a bad day on the day they died. St. Peter was standing at the pearly gates and said to the first man, "Tell me about the day you died."

The man said, "Oh, it was awful. I was sure my wife was having an affair, so I came home early to catch her with him. I searched all over the apartment but couldn't find him anywhere. So I went out onto the balcony, we live on the 25th floor, and found this man hanging over the edge by his fingertips. I went inside, got a hammer, and started hitting his hands. He fell, but landed in some bushes. So, I got the refrigerator and pushed it over the balcony and it crushed him. The strain of the act gave me a heart attack, and I died."

St. Peter couldn't deny that this was a pretty bad day, and since it was a crime of passion, he let the man in.

He then asked the next man in line about the day he died. "Well, sir, it was awful," said the second man. "I was doing aerobics on the balcony of my 26th floor apartment when I twisted my ankle and slipped over the edge. I managed to grab the balcony of the apartment below, but some maniac came out and started pounding on my fingers with a hammer. Luckily I landed in some bushes. But, then the guy dropped a refrigerator on me!"

St. Peter chuckled, let him into heaven and decided he could really start to enjoy this job.

"Tell me about the day you died?", he said to the third man in line.

"OK, picture this, I'm naked, hiding inside a refrigerator ..."

Comment by Gbenga WebBirthday on November 14, 2012 at 2:15pm

In a train compartment, there are 3 men and a ravishing young girl. The four passengers join in conversation, which very soon turns to the erotic. Then, the young girl proposes, "If each of you will give me $1.00, I will show you my legs."

The men, charmed by this young girl, all pull a buck out of their wallet. And then the girl pulls up her dress a bit to show her legs. Then she says, "If each of you gentlemen will give me $10.00, I'll show you my thighs,".

And men being what they are, they all pull out a ten dollar bill. The girl pulls up her dress all the way to her legs in full. Conversation continues, and the men, a bit excited, have all taken off their coats. Then the young girl says, "If you will give me $100, I will show you where I was operated on for appendicitis."

All three fork over the money. The girl then turned to the window and points outside at a building they're passing. "See there in the distance. That's the hospital where I had it done!"

Comment by Gbenga WebBirthday on November 14, 2012 at 1:38pm

Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying?

For the same reason dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

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