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Comment by webmadam noelene on December 14, 2011 at 9:49am

A man and his wife quarreled. After the fight, the wife went into the bedroom. A few minutes later, the husband also trooped into the bedroom only to find the wife busy packing her suitcase! He asked "You are packing! Where are you going?" She answered "To my mother" The man paused for a while and also got his big brown pure leather suitcase & started packing his clothes. The angry wife stared at him and said "You are packing! Where are you going?" He replied "Oh ya! I"m going to my mother!" The wife replied, "To your mother???!! And what about the 6 children?! Who is going to look after them?" The man replied, "You are going to your mother! I'm going 2 my mother. The 6 children should also go to their mother!!!"

Comment by weboga on December 6, 2011 at 12:09am

Ike: Mummy, Uche don break d glass window. Mum: And how did he do that? Ike: I bin stone am, Him come dodge d stone.

Comment by weboga on December 4, 2011 at 2:48pm

Oghene was tired of working as a securuty guard so when he heard that Bill Gates was holding a mass interview to select a new head of operations for Microsoft Worldwide he thought..heck why not. 

5,000 people showed up for the interview and Gates started by asking all those who couldn't write Java in binary code to leave the room. Oghene thought: what the hell dese pipo na mumu, who know weda I sabi or no sabi...2,000 people left but Oghene sat tight.

Gates continued by asking all those who had never supervised a thousand people or more to excuse themselves. As 2,000 more candidates trooped out, Oghene thought to himself: na lie oh, wetin I fit lose..I no dey kommot.

Gates then asked all those who did not possess at least two doctorate degrees, with one of them in Computer programming, to leave the room. Even though Oghene had dropped out of school at 15, he put on his haughtiest demeanour and thought: dem no go embarrass me jare, I go siddon remain for here.

Finally Gates asked all those who couldn't speak Ancient Mandarin Chinese to go. Only two candidates remained in the room. Oghene and one other. Bill Gates walked over to them and said: Well it seems you're the only two people who can speak Ancient Mandarin Chinese, I'd like to hear a conversation in that language...

...Oghene turned to the other candidate and muttered: Wahala don come oh, which kind kaka be dis....

....the other candidate turned and replied:....bros which kind wahala na?..you too fear,shine ya eye, make we just yarn dey go na ! mandarin mavo ?

Comment by Gabriel Edem Archibong on December 4, 2011 at 10:51am

This is the standard!

Comment by webmadam noelene on November 26, 2011 at 4:35pm

There was this case in Kenyatta National Hospital Intensive Care ward where patients always died in the same bed on Sunday morning at 11am, regardless of their medical condition. This puzzled the doctors and some even thought that it had something to do with the supernatural no one could solve the mystery.... as to why people died at 11.am So a world-wide expert team was constituted and they decided to go down to the ward to investigate the cause of the incidents. So on the next Sunday morning few minutes before 11am, all doctors and nurses nervously wait outside the ward to see for themselves what the terrible phenomenon was all about. Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer, books and their Objects to ward off the evil.....Just when the clock struck 11.....Guess what happened...... Mukhobero Wepukhulu, the part-time Sunday sweeper entered the ward and unplugged the life support system so that he could use the socket for the vacuum

Comment by webmadam noelene on November 22, 2011 at 6:51am

A naked woman enters an ibo man’s taxi in Lagos and asked him to drive her to Victoria Island. Ibo man starring at her says nothing but does not start the car. 

Woman: what? you've never seen a naked woman before...

Driver: “I no dey look you madam, “I just dey” wonder where you keep the money wey you wan take pay me.

Comment by webmadam noelene on November 20, 2011 at 8:06am

Mum", said a 5yr old boy to his mother, "Do all angels fly?" "Yes dear" repiled his mum. "Why do u ask?" "Well, yesterday while you were at the saloon, dad called our new house girl an angel. Will she fly too?" "Yes dear" replied his mum. "She will fly to their village 2moro & neva com back. Happi sunday

Comment by Gbenga WebBirthday on October 28, 2011 at 3:59pm

WEDDING VOTE OF THANKS
During a reception, the groom was called upon to give his vote of thanks to his guests and this is what he came with.
1. I want to first of all thank the Lord Almighty for creating my wife and to also thank the pastor and his wife for lending us their wedding rings.
2. Special appreciation to my landlord who lent us his car.
3. I am most grateful to my boss for approving the loan I used for my wedding suit.
4. Big thank to the committee of friends for the appeal fund they raised on my behalf.
5. Also to my brother's wife, thank you for lending us your wedding gown and to my sister for lending her shoes to my wife.
6. Am so grateful to the cake designer for the cake. I promised to return it tomorrow morning as agreed without cutting or eating out of it.
7. Special thanks to my friends who brought food from their homes to help me feed you all.Please for those who were served food good luck and for those who did't get any, well we will make it up to you during our child's dedication (hopefully next year).
8. Very big thanks to my parent for bringing the village cultural band to supply the music as well as entertain us all here today.
9. Not forgetting the church committee, thank you for persuading my wife to marry me.
10.Appreciation to the married men in the church for rushing me into this marriage.
11. The women are not left out, thanks a lot for teaching my wife how to cook.
12. To the youths, thank you for sweeping and decorating this venue with palm fronds.
13. I am also grateful to my teenage friends for helping with the zobo drinks (Nigeria local juice)
14.Appreciation to my co-tenants for contributing money for the camera man
15.Well, I wish you all safe journey and I pray you don't experience what I suffered for this wedding. Thank you. Cheers!

Comment by webmadam noelene on October 16, 2011 at 7:40am

A Pastor was
preaching in a Church and
announces:- "If you know your
wife is controlling you, move to
the left!" All the men in the Church
moved to the left, except one
man... The Pastor was amused
and asked: "How come your wife
can't control you?" The man kindly
replied by saying: "Pastor, na my
wife say make I no commot for
here Ooh.

Comment by webmadam noelene on September 24, 2011 at 5:51pm

oghenerukewhe came home one day with his report card and his dad said 

Rukeboy how far na your result be dis ?
Papa na im o 
so wetin happen na why your face come sad like that abi u don fail ?
rukewhe: papa my face sad like that bcos you know that boy wey get scholarship wey dey come teash me aritmetic and engleensh and geografy ? 

Papa: i know am na 
oghene: papa the boy fail o

 

papa: shuo na wa dat brillant boy fail ? dis life na wo wo be dat na 
Ogene quickly : you know that girl patience wey dey come ist for we class wey teacher praise for dat PTA wey you come last month ?
Papa . i know am na that pickin mouth get tiger razor ... wetin do am ?
oghene: the girl fail too 
Papa: Ugborikoko no go near enerehn junction lai lai ! I dey smell for yeye na wa o 
ogene now with a pitiful face looks at his dad and hands him his report card .

Papa: Oya no cry na . so na how you come do for the exam ma pickin

oghene: I tell you say jonah and patie fail na im you dey ask me if i pass . papa i be winch ?

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